
How many times have you written a piece at school about "What does Father's Day mean to you?" Well...that is what I'm going to do here, I think. Because I have had so many "father figures" in my life and because today is Father's Day, I thought it would be good.
My first father figure of course was my Dad, Luke Edward Calloway. I loved his name because it was different from most but it was the same as his dad’s. His friends and family called him Sonny. I never knew why, but after I grew up, I figured it was because he was the baby of the family. He was the only boy and the youngest and most cherished. Having a charismatic personality, everyone liked him and wanted to be around him, even his nieces and nephews. Smoking Lucky Strike cigarettes and drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, I remember the combination scent mixed in with the Wild Country cologne on his leather jacket. His smile was big and charming. I was his only daughter and he was proud of me. Why, I don't know. I guess, just because I was his. I sat on his lap a lot and hung around him as much as possible.
When he was murdered around my tenth birthday, my life as I knew it was over. Because it was an unsolved mystery and still is to this day, I went into denial. Even though there was a funeral, I still didn't believe he was dead. I fantasized that someday he would return from the trip he was on. The longer he was gone, the more disappointed I became because he didn't tell me where he was. Eventually, I lost hope that he was coming back for me. Depression grabbed me and wouldn't let go.
By the time I was out of high school, I was a mixed up kid, on drugs, rebellious and hateful towards my stepfather, Hal, my second father figure. I remember when he came to live with us, right before my dad died, Mom married him. He tried to be nice to me, but then he stopped. I felt rejected and I guess at such a young age, decided that I wouldn't ever let anyone hurt me like that again, so I put up walls to defend myself. I began to act out. I started smoking at age eleven, and started drinking and doing drugs by the time I was twelve and thirteen. Whenever he tried to discipline me, I went off on an out of control tantrum. As I replay the scene in my head, I just needed a good old fashion spanking! But of course, that wasn't going to happen. I was too big and too far gone. Having such bitterness and hatred in my heart and no where to vent it, he got all I had. I put as much of a wedge between him and Mom as I could and eventually, their marriage fell apart. Not that it was my fault, but I didn't help it.
The next father figure was Mom's next and final husband, Papa Wally. He adored Mom from the start and wanted to be a part of us kids lives as soon as he met us. After hearing from Mom what all us kids, (my older brother and younger brother) had been through, he felt compassion on us and wanted so much to change our past for us. After receiving Jesus, he became a man of prayer and compassion. After losing my father, I had a hang up on calling another man "Dad" because my dad told me not to. I toyed with Hal, calling him dad and when he made me mad, taking it back or if I felt guilty for calling him dad, I'd stop, until I just didn't call him anything after a while. But I was a grown woman when Papa came into my life, so I wasn't going to call him Dad, although my little brother didn't have a problem with it from the start. Eventually, I thought it would be good for the grandkids to call him Papa Wally. He looked like a Papa Wally and it fit for me too. It was/is a term of endearment.
Mr. Wega, my best friend's dad, when I was in 5th and 6th grade, was a father figure to me. I really loved him. I didn't spend any real time with him, but like me, Licia was the only girl in her family and he loved her the same way my dad loved me. So, when he looked at me, it was a lot the same way my dad looked at me, very familiar and it felt good. He called me, "Buttercup." I melted every time.
Also, Mr. Smith, from church, right after I got saved, he hugged me like I believe my father would hug me. It wasn't a wimpy side hug you get from most men at church, which is understandable, but from Mr. Smith, it was a complete hug that fixed my Spirit too. I don't know how to explain it, but since my dad is gone, I never had a hug from a dad like this until I met Mr. Smith.
And then we come to my Heavenly Father. He has shown me how much I mean to Him and how valuable I am to Him. He has given me a lot of direction for my life. Being His daughter has been an honor and privilege. Calling my name and even changing it. Making promises to me without breaking them and actually following through on them makes me trust Him. Being a Father that I can trust at all times to listen when I need to talk, cry or vent my frustrations, is wonderful. Having a Father that is always available to deal with the stresses and take away the worries of life is precious. Letting him hold me and rock me to sleep when I’ve had all I can take for a day is awesome, knowing I’m not too big for his lap and that my issues are not too dumb or heavy for him to handle.
Father’s have their place in our lives but we can’t do without our Heavenly one.
Here is a link to a story I wrote:
http://www.faithwriters.com/wc-article-level2.php?id=9170